When I first started this blog (and this diet) I was so excited, so optimistic. I was just sure that I’d be overflowing with energy and losing pound after pound while I moved and grooved my way to success and so I’m perplexed as to why, only a couple of weeks later, I’m so.. blah.. About everything.
I had a horrible food weekend and I’ve been making so-so choices all of this week and I’ve been seeing the scale move steadily upwards since Monday and it’s starting to freak me out! There’s this panic building inside of me that’s telling me that this is just a fluke, that I only dropped the weight by accident and in a couple of weeks it’ll be right back where it wants to be, stuck to my hips and ass. I did go to water aerobics Monday but didn’t do anything Tuesday. I was supposed to go to water aerobics last night but it was my mom’s birthday and she begged out so she could go out to eat and since she’s my ride I wasn’t able to get there. I did do a ½ hour stretching video but again ignored the hated treadmill. I did manage to guilt her in to going to the Y tonight and tomorrow so I can go to the 5:30 water aerobics class. I’ll be SO glad when I get my driver’s license. (Oh yeah, I don’t have it yet, that’s a whole other issue I won’t get in to now. LOL.. Deadline for that is May 1st though!)
I think part of the problem is that I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately. I’ve been staying up late talking to friends on the phone (1-2am) and getting up at the last possible second every morning before leaving for work and I’m freaking exhausted! I have all these plans to do good thing but the energy factor is lacking greatly. So what do I do? I know logically I should get to bed early but my best friend (and the guy I talk to at night) works in the evening and after 10pm is the only time I can actually chat with him or her. Do I give that up?
You know, now that I look at that I can clearly see that it’s exactly what I need to do. I’m so worried about making sure that those relationships stays close that I’m sacrificing my own well being and potentially sabotaging myself in the process! No more! I’m putting my foot down and no more calls after 10pm. I want to be in bed between 10-10:30 and up at 6am, no excuses! Of course better said than done.. I can reach my alarm from my bed and can smack the snooze repeatedly.. I don’t really have anywhere else to put the alarm clock unless I move my entire side table across the room. Huh, once again I answered my own question.. hee hee.
I think I just needed to vent to clear my head a little bit, I’m going to go grab a piece of paper and write a few ideas down on how to improve my situation a little bit. I watched that Oprah episode about “The Secret” and I’m going to change to some positive thought! I AM losing weight, I AM getting healthy, I AM exercising, I AM doing this! Whew, being positive is tiring.. Zzzzzzzzzz...
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2 comments:
I always eat more when I'm exhausted, too. Someone did a study once that people actually do get hungrier and eat more if they don't get enough sleep. So I guess there's really a scientific reason for it.
hi hon
I just found your blog and was reading through a couple of the archives, when this post really struck a chord with me. I used to have those panicky dreams where all the weight you've lost comes back! I think it takes a bit of time for your brain to catch up with the body. I stopped thinking that the weight would come back after about 6 months of losing, you will too as you lose more and more. It takes time to get used to it I think!
I know its tempting to think about how you want to lose all the weight quickly, but try not to get too hung up on time, its the losing that couts, and it isn't a race!! Check out Dietgirl,(www.dietgirl.org) I think it's 6 years for her so far, and she's only 10 or so pounds away from goal. You'll get there too
xx
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