Pre-lifestyle change I made and consumed a lot of food. I always made two sandwiches or burgers, always filled my plate to overflowing, insisted on having the super/biggie/upsized drink & fries, went back for seconds/thirds/fourths and generally ate until I was overly and sickeningly full. I didn’t gorge on huge amounts of food all of the time but there were times more often than not that I’d buy a package of Italian dry salami, a loaf of French bread, and a bottle of spray cheese and consume the entire thing in the course of a few hours. I knew I was full when my stomach was distended and my eyes had glazed over and the thought of one more bite would make me nauseous. It was the only way I recognized that I was satiated, that I didn’t need any more food. I’d completely lost touch with how my body worked.
I’m noticing more and more often these days that if I pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me I easily eat half to ¾’s of what I would normally consume. It’s like I’m finally waking up. When I don’t overfill my stomach there’s no run for dear life to the nearest restroom and no feelings of guilt and pain. That’s not to say that I still don’t eat too much or have those “uh oh & run” moments but they are starting to be more abnormal than the daily routine. I eat so well during the day that my nights had always been a free for all, consuming whatever came my way as soon as I could possibly get it to my lips and I still find it very hard not to add one more burger to the grill or pull out four pieces of bread or find the biggest bowl I own so I can load up on that night’s feast.
Why did/do I overeat like that? Why do I have the desire to still do it? It takes everything I have not to gorge on huge amounts of food. I enjoy food; I’m not going to lie. I love the taste. Really, that’s the biggest motivating factors for me, one of the main reasons I continue to eat and eat and eat. The taste of food is intoxicating. It flashes to the pleasure centers of my brain and makes me just want to keep consuming and consuming to prolong the sensation and for some reason it’s really hard to put the food down and be willing to throw it away.
It’s like getting a really good massage.. You’re 45 minutes in to it and you realize that all the knots and tension are gone and you feel really good and satisfied. You paid for an hour though, so do you stop the massage because you’ve gotten what you needed or do you keep going and get your full hour in and then feel guilty later because you didn’t need that extra 15 minutes? I think that’s the best way to explain what’s going on in my brain. I recognize when I’m full now, I’m just reluctant to give up what’s making me feel so good. Friday night I had to toss what was left of my chili into the sink and pour soap on top of it because I was still eating it when I was full!
I have a feeling this is going to be one of my biggest battles on my journey, breaking the cycle of bad eating behaviors for good and taking the time to listen to what my body really truly needs. Not wants. NEEDS.
I’m noticing more and more often these days that if I pay attention to what my body is trying to tell me I easily eat half to ¾’s of what I would normally consume. It’s like I’m finally waking up. When I don’t overfill my stomach there’s no run for dear life to the nearest restroom and no feelings of guilt and pain. That’s not to say that I still don’t eat too much or have those “uh oh & run” moments but they are starting to be more abnormal than the daily routine. I eat so well during the day that my nights had always been a free for all, consuming whatever came my way as soon as I could possibly get it to my lips and I still find it very hard not to add one more burger to the grill or pull out four pieces of bread or find the biggest bowl I own so I can load up on that night’s feast.
Why did/do I overeat like that? Why do I have the desire to still do it? It takes everything I have not to gorge on huge amounts of food. I enjoy food; I’m not going to lie. I love the taste. Really, that’s the biggest motivating factors for me, one of the main reasons I continue to eat and eat and eat. The taste of food is intoxicating. It flashes to the pleasure centers of my brain and makes me just want to keep consuming and consuming to prolong the sensation and for some reason it’s really hard to put the food down and be willing to throw it away.
It’s like getting a really good massage.. You’re 45 minutes in to it and you realize that all the knots and tension are gone and you feel really good and satisfied. You paid for an hour though, so do you stop the massage because you’ve gotten what you needed or do you keep going and get your full hour in and then feel guilty later because you didn’t need that extra 15 minutes? I think that’s the best way to explain what’s going on in my brain. I recognize when I’m full now, I’m just reluctant to give up what’s making me feel so good. Friday night I had to toss what was left of my chili into the sink and pour soap on top of it because I was still eating it when I was full!
I have a feeling this is going to be one of my biggest battles on my journey, breaking the cycle of bad eating behaviors for good and taking the time to listen to what my body really truly needs. Not wants. NEEDS.
3 comments:
Okay, grrrr. I wrote a big long reply to your post, and Blogger deleted it because I was signed in with my other Gmail account. Grrr, again. Lesson learned. Maybe the universe didn't want me to leave such a long post? ;)
Anyway, the gist was:
-- Really great post, you captured the cause and effect of overeating for pleasure and feeling like a blob afterwards in a profound way.
-- I've been experimenting with different things, and I've found that preparing foods with a lot of different tastes and textures keeps me from overeating. I tend to overeat foods that are either mono-textured (chips, pizza) or bland (bread/butter). If I make something like chicken curry, and put it in a wrap with some spinach and red peppers, the different textures (crunchy, chewy, carby) satisfy something in my brain.
-- Spice it up! It's hard to overeat if something is making your nose run it's so spicy! I discovered that tip the other day by accident. ;)
I know as far as food goes, different strokes for different folks, but I thought I'd share and maybe contribute a new tool to your kit. Cheers!
Boy I can so relate.. what has worked for me.. is counting calories and using the MAYO CLINIC HEALTHY WEIGHT FOR EVERYBODY as a guide... I pretty much am never really overly hungry... Some days I eat more calories ( 1200) is goal... and some days I eat under 1000.. so it balances out on those days I eat more.. I also let myself have things I want.. If I want pasta.. I make it.. and portion it out for the next meal that I will use it. most of the time I make just enough for Steve and myself and then leftovers for lunch. I love pizza .. we make our own from scratch including the dough.. and we work on portion control... every day.. its hard.. the ironic thing is .. that Steve has lost weight too.. by simply following what I do.. Don't over make food.. if you want to indulge let yourself eat extra veggies.. preferably raw.. baby carrots with a little light dressing is a great filler uppers... We make a great salad before dinner.. I got the recipe from my weekly class I go too... for 2 people.. or even one if you are hungry.. U CAN EAT ALL OF THIS YOURSELF IF YOU WANT... 1 carton cherry or grape tomatos, 3 sections of string ( MOZZ CHEESE) cheese.. 3 sticks sliced thin place that in bowl with tomatos... fresh chopped basil to taste.. 1 tablespoon olive oil.. and Balsamic vinegar to taste usually 2 tablespoons.. you can add raw asparagus, some raw sweet onion.. cucumber what ever you like... all I have to count is the oil and cheese.. the veggies are free for me. figure on roughly 200 calories for the whole bowl.. the less oil u use the less calories spent.. if you use 3 sticks of the cheese its 150 calories.. this is sooooooo fresh and tasty.. its a great thing to fill up on... before eating your meal.. or make it your meal. there are things you can eat that are high in bulk and low in calories and fat. Be creative.. read labels.. I am a foodie too.. I admit it.. not only do I love to eat .. I love to cook.. so making these lifestyle changes.. seems to work.. Thats my big issue .. the defination of what is a diet as opposed to LIFE STYLE CHANGE... Those of us that are obese... HAVE TO MAKE LIFE STYLE CHANGES.. sure anyone can go on a diet.. and lose weight.. but the measure of true success is how you handle what happens afterwards.. thats why I opted for a life style change as opposed to a diet.. diets are not the solution to long term life long weight loss.. You have make the changes.. until those changes become habit.. I am 44 years old and am learning that now.. Since Jan 22, 2007 when I started making these changes I have lost 15.5 pounds.. Its all about makeing the commitment to making the changes.. not starving yourself.. and not reallly denying yourself.. just making healthy choices.. I do know how you feel.. because every day its still a struggle for me.. my hope is that one day it no longer is a struggle but habit.. and that is what I have been told all along that this too will become a habit just as over eating once was..
it's so cool to read your post today! I recently bought the book "If not dieting... then what?" - I don't know anymore whose blog I read about it from, but it's great! I just read about this overeating/stuffing ourselves bit and I'm becoming WAY more concious of my OWN issues now. This kind of enlightenment is SO empowering! The more empowered we are, the stronger we are, the more fulfilled we are, the more SATISFIED we are and the more in TUNE we are with our bodies!
It's great to know there are people like you out there who are walking the same road as I am! It so helps so read another's blog and think "Yes! That's me!" - it just makes me feel even more sure of SUSTAINABLE SUCCESS!
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