I swore I wouldn’t be like those other fair weather bloggers. I’d stick to this and post as much as possible and be a champion for myself and everyone out there struggling and look what I did.. A month and a half!! O_O I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome myself back.. I don’t know where I’ve been! I started majorly backsliding and was so embarrassed that I took the opportunity to jump ship. Since this was a blog for me (and woo hoo if other people read it too) I suppose in essence I was hiding from myself.
I got to my low weight of 338 and started putting the weight back on, just a little bit at a time until I’m now at 345. I know it’s only 7 pounds but dangit I fought really hard for those and I didn’t want them back! I’m in crisis recovery mode at this point; I want to stem the flow before it gets out of control and I can quickly see it’s heading that way.
I can’t tell you precisely what caused the derailment; I’m sure just little things here and there that got me off track. You know how it goes, it’s the occasional coffee or frosty or candy bar and then its seconds and fried foods and “I’ve already screwed up the day, may as well eat it” attitude. I haven’t been to the gym in a few weeks, I’m carpooling with my mother and her schedule is so hectic and my health has been up and down for the past month or so.. I’m hoping to have my license by mid June though so as soon as I have it I’m dragging my own butt to the gym!!
The question is though, what can I do in the meantime until I can get back there? I stare at my treadmill and never get on it because walking on it is uncomfortable.. Because of my fat inner thighs the width of the treadmill seems really narrow and I keep stepping off to the side and almost tripping.. Grrr.. Plus I can get about 10 minutes before I’m totally winded... 10 minutes is crap! I could walk all the way around my apartment complex (it’s a ½ mile) but by the time I get home I never really think about it.. Or I’m just too tired.. Or I’m afraid I won’t make it. Where’s my motivation? Where’s my resolve even when I’m not motivated? It seems to have wandered away from me at the moment.
I’m trying to plug back in effective today.. I wrote down my food for today and will enter it into fitday.com tonight and I’m posting here today in the hopes that I’ll accept my own apology and promise to never leave me again and offer big hugs to myself! I guess this means I have to figure out some sort of exercise, huh. :P
I got to my low weight of 338 and started putting the weight back on, just a little bit at a time until I’m now at 345. I know it’s only 7 pounds but dangit I fought really hard for those and I didn’t want them back! I’m in crisis recovery mode at this point; I want to stem the flow before it gets out of control and I can quickly see it’s heading that way.
I can’t tell you precisely what caused the derailment; I’m sure just little things here and there that got me off track. You know how it goes, it’s the occasional coffee or frosty or candy bar and then its seconds and fried foods and “I’ve already screwed up the day, may as well eat it” attitude. I haven’t been to the gym in a few weeks, I’m carpooling with my mother and her schedule is so hectic and my health has been up and down for the past month or so.. I’m hoping to have my license by mid June though so as soon as I have it I’m dragging my own butt to the gym!!
The question is though, what can I do in the meantime until I can get back there? I stare at my treadmill and never get on it because walking on it is uncomfortable.. Because of my fat inner thighs the width of the treadmill seems really narrow and I keep stepping off to the side and almost tripping.. Grrr.. Plus I can get about 10 minutes before I’m totally winded... 10 minutes is crap! I could walk all the way around my apartment complex (it’s a ½ mile) but by the time I get home I never really think about it.. Or I’m just too tired.. Or I’m afraid I won’t make it. Where’s my motivation? Where’s my resolve even when I’m not motivated? It seems to have wandered away from me at the moment.
I’m trying to plug back in effective today.. I wrote down my food for today and will enter it into fitday.com tonight and I’m posting here today in the hopes that I’ll accept my own apology and promise to never leave me again and offer big hugs to myself! I guess this means I have to figure out some sort of exercise, huh. :P
