Dieting is like being Bipolar.

I mean, think about it. The definition of bipolar is below (an excerpt taken from medicinenet.com):



Bipolar Disorder: A mood disorder sometimes called manic-depressive illness or manic-depression that characteristically involves cycles of depression and elation or mania. Sometimes the mood switches from high to low and back again are dramatic and rapid, but more often they are gradual and slow, and intervals of normal mood may occur between the high (manic) and low (depressive) phases of the condition. The symptoms of both the depressive and manic cycles may be severe and often lead to impaired functioning.
Both phases of the disease are deleterious. Mania affects thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that may cause serious problems and embarrassment. Depression can also affect thinking, judgment, and social behavior in ways that may cause grave problems.



I understand the mania of being on a diet. It affects my rational thinking. What sane person would binge and binge on food until their stomach hurt and then stand in front of the refrigerator looking for more? Who would order an extra large pizza with four drinks so the pizza dude didn’t think I was eating it alone and then eat three quarters of it? I limit my social situations when I know I won’t be able to control the behavior (ie. Going to a bar or out to a restaurant) and I’m so highly judgmental of every little fault when it comes to my lifestyle change. Some days I feel like I’m at the bottom of a slip and slide facing up a huge hill and I have no idea how I’m going to get to the top.

Last night I burst into tears after eating a huge bowl of cereal, the same bowl of cereal that I had been obsessing about eating for three solid hours. I lamented over the three peanut butter cookies I had after lunch and wailed about having to miss my workout. In short, I blew a major fuse. I honestly think the combination of stress and disappointment just kind of caught up with me last night and I bottomed out into a huge bowl of cranberry almond cereal.

This morning? I weighed in and lost three pounds from when I weighed in last.. Of course it isn’t official until tomorrow but I was totally ecstatic. I’m glad the scale is in a break room because I instantly broke into the happy danced and danced a few circles of joy around the room. I practically skipped back to my desk, my faith in my lifestyle choices renewed and my brain and heart eager to continue my hunt towards wellness.




It then occurred to me that this journey was really like being on a roller coaster.. Sometimes you’re climbing slowly and anticipating the ride ahead, sometimes you’re rushing full speed ahead clinging to your seat while laughing hysterically and sometimes you’re so scared you can’t even bear to move or breathe. I just have to keep in mind that although this ride never ends at some point on the track the hills and valleys will be less and the fear will subside and I’ll end up on an entirely different ride altogether, the one that involves living my life to it’s fullest potential.