I swore I wouldn’t be like those other fair weather bloggers. I’d stick to this and post as much as possible and be a champion for myself and everyone out there struggling and look what I did.. A month and a half!! O_O I’d like to take this opportunity to welcome myself back.. I don’t know where I’ve been! I started majorly backsliding and was so embarrassed that I took the opportunity to jump ship. Since this was a blog for me (and woo hoo if other people read it too) I suppose in essence I was hiding from myself.
I got to my low weight of 338 and started putting the weight back on, just a little bit at a time until I’m now at 345. I know it’s only 7 pounds but dangit I fought really hard for those and I didn’t want them back! I’m in crisis recovery mode at this point; I want to stem the flow before it gets out of control and I can quickly see it’s heading that way.
I can’t tell you precisely what caused the derailment; I’m sure just little things here and there that got me off track. You know how it goes, it’s the occasional coffee or frosty or candy bar and then its seconds and fried foods and “I’ve already screwed up the day, may as well eat it” attitude. I haven’t been to the gym in a few weeks, I’m carpooling with my mother and her schedule is so hectic and my health has been up and down for the past month or so.. I’m hoping to have my license by mid June though so as soon as I have it I’m dragging my own butt to the gym!!
The question is though, what can I do in the meantime until I can get back there? I stare at my treadmill and never get on it because walking on it is uncomfortable.. Because of my fat inner thighs the width of the treadmill seems really narrow and I keep stepping off to the side and almost tripping.. Grrr.. Plus I can get about 10 minutes before I’m totally winded... 10 minutes is crap! I could walk all the way around my apartment complex (it’s a ½ mile) but by the time I get home I never really think about it.. Or I’m just too tired.. Or I’m afraid I won’t make it. Where’s my motivation? Where’s my resolve even when I’m not motivated? It seems to have wandered away from me at the moment.
I’m trying to plug back in effective today.. I wrote down my food for today and will enter it into fitday.com tonight and I’m posting here today in the hopes that I’ll accept my own apology and promise to never leave me again and offer big hugs to myself! I guess this means I have to figure out some sort of exercise, huh. :P
I got to my low weight of 338 and started putting the weight back on, just a little bit at a time until I’m now at 345. I know it’s only 7 pounds but dangit I fought really hard for those and I didn’t want them back! I’m in crisis recovery mode at this point; I want to stem the flow before it gets out of control and I can quickly see it’s heading that way.
I can’t tell you precisely what caused the derailment; I’m sure just little things here and there that got me off track. You know how it goes, it’s the occasional coffee or frosty or candy bar and then its seconds and fried foods and “I’ve already screwed up the day, may as well eat it” attitude. I haven’t been to the gym in a few weeks, I’m carpooling with my mother and her schedule is so hectic and my health has been up and down for the past month or so.. I’m hoping to have my license by mid June though so as soon as I have it I’m dragging my own butt to the gym!!
The question is though, what can I do in the meantime until I can get back there? I stare at my treadmill and never get on it because walking on it is uncomfortable.. Because of my fat inner thighs the width of the treadmill seems really narrow and I keep stepping off to the side and almost tripping.. Grrr.. Plus I can get about 10 minutes before I’m totally winded... 10 minutes is crap! I could walk all the way around my apartment complex (it’s a ½ mile) but by the time I get home I never really think about it.. Or I’m just too tired.. Or I’m afraid I won’t make it. Where’s my motivation? Where’s my resolve even when I’m not motivated? It seems to have wandered away from me at the moment.
I’m trying to plug back in effective today.. I wrote down my food for today and will enter it into fitday.com tonight and I’m posting here today in the hopes that I’ll accept my own apology and promise to never leave me again and offer big hugs to myself! I guess this means I have to figure out some sort of exercise, huh. :P
4 comments:
hey vamp,
welcome back! i was hoping to see you post again soon. please don't feel sheepish about your backslide -- the important thing is that you caught it before it turned into an avalanche and you're back online!
re: your exercise problems... i can relate. i'd wake up with every intention of exercising after work, and i never ever did because i was always SO TIRED by the afternoon. after recognizing this behavior pattern, i bit the bullet and started waking up earlier to go for walks and/or ride the stationary bike at home first thing in the morning. having something you can do in the morning that doesn't involve the gym really, really helps. pretty soon, gets to be second nature, just like brushing your teeth (albeit for much longer than you would brush your teeth) or preparing food. imagine that -- mindless EXERCISE instead of mindless eating. never thought i'd see the day.
I know exactly what you mean about dropping the ball. The last thing you feel like doing is blogging when you are screwing up the eating.
I always feel like I am doing so well and I get to my lowest and I think I am unstoppable and then out of no where I just lose. I can't explain why or what happens.
Trying to get back into the mode is so hard, doesn't make it easier when your thighs are rubbing together! :-)
I'm around the same age and weight as you and I know we can do this. I'm glad you came back!
{{{Vamp}}} We have all been there I just made my way back too. I regained 12 pounds (over 4 just last week!) and wish I would have caught myself at 7 so you are doing the right thing to not let it go any longer! The good thing is you you don't like it and want to change and you are making a plan. I went back to the gym today and this is the first day in weeks I ate on point while at work. I have been a mess for a few weeks now but I put my foot down this weekend and made a plan. Let me suggest you do ANY exercise you can even if it is walking in place in your home. As far as the crappy 10 mins its better than none and you know that is how you build yourself back up... slowly 10 mins will turn into 15 to 20 and so on so do what you can and it'll get back on track! Thanks for the update! Post again soon!!
I was just updating my blogrolls and realized it had been a very, very long time since a new post had appeared here! You don't know me -- though I might've commented once before? -- but I had originally found this through 3FC many moons ago.
I hope you're doing well.
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